Less than 12 hours later, Eric was already at work and I was lying in bed wide-eyed trying to get up the courage to pee on a stick. What if it's negative? Again. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow. But I'm pretty sure...I mean I've been so tired. But what if I'm wrong? Maybe I'd rather not know. Pretty soon my bladder at least got me out of bed and I just went for it. Clear as day. A plus sign. That means pregnant, right? Crap. I threw away the package with the directions. It's gotta mean pregnant. But what if it doesn't? What if it should have two plus signs? Thank God for the internet. Google..."Factplus pregnancy test results." Searching, searching, searching. Stupid slow internet. Okay, that one looks promising. Plus sign. Pregnant. Oh. Wow. I remember looking up at myself in the mirror and saying, "You're pregnant."
And then it hit me. We had put so much time and energy and thought and prayer and planning and...well...sex into just conceiving, but I honestly had not thought one second beyond the moment when the sperm meets the egg and says, "Hey let's implant over here. Looks nice and cozy." So beyond the initial shock of an actual positive pregnancy test, my only other conscious thought was, "Now what?" Well, first thing's first. Must tell the husband. Must be creative. Must not cry. Must not answer that phone call from Little Sister. Must not tell anyone else before the husband knows! Am I even ready to say it out loud? I mean, not just to the mirror?
Well, I failed in the attempt to not let anyone else in on the secret before telling Eric. Pretty sure the lady in Half Price Books knows. Not hard to do the math: 1 wide-eyed girl + "What to Expect when You're Expecting" onto the counter = PREGNANT. And the ladies at Hallmark probably have a pretty good idea. The countdown calendar of weeks until she's a grandma I got for my mom was a dead give-away.
Eric and I met for lunch that day. I was frantically composing a plan for telling him...close to settling on just blurting it out. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and I had my moment. I got out the book. I pretended to read (who was I kidding?). He came back and fell right into my little trap. "What are you reading?" I held up the book and looked pointedly into his eyes. "Oh, that's a new...booooo..." That last consonant got lost a little there as he now did the math that took Half Price Books Lady half the time. I just stared at him, unhelpfully. "Are you kidding? Are you serious?" I just nodded and mumbled something like, "How 'bout that?" Then brought out the proof (which was in a plastic bag for all you germ-concerned folks out there) and passed it across the table. He just stared at me with his mouth open, his eyes wide, his hands grasping the evidence of conception. And I finally said, "How's that for a Kairos moment?"