Thursday, June 11, 2009

With apologies in earnest to all Fern Gully enthusiasts.

Seriously. I didn't know the Gully was remembered so fondly. For those of you who I offended and let me know about it in person or in post, sorry. But take heart, friends. There are more of you than I would have imagined.

So Kelsey was on the last straightaway out of the first trimester when Short Round got feisty today. Tomorrow marks the start of the second trimester which, as I understand it, is the fun one. Apparently expectant women feel great, can travel with less concern, and really start to show. Well Shorty had to go and throw in one last jab before the fun started and Kelsey has been throwing in all day. And by in, I mean up. And by all day, I mean all day. My poor wife.

Let me tell you, though- I'm experiencing a psychological test of will that I hadn't counted on. On any given day I have to remember to not leave any spilled substance on the counter, mention any food that may contain the word (or ingredient) marinara, or let the dog breathe within 20 feet of where Kelsey happens to be sitting at the time. And that's a toughie, cause Maddie seems to favor breathing.

So if there are any guys reading that are planning on one day being fathers, listen. Your already sub-par standards of hygiene and your lack of awareness that you're constantly bringing up nauseating subjects in conversation are going to be amplified when your lady is pregnant. Take heed, gents. Best to just lay low until the exact second your wife needs something, then spring into action like a sort of domestically paternal James Bond. She won't forget it. Right honey?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So I've totally been a silent reader, but "domestically paternal James Bond" ... that's quality!