Or at least that's what my daughter would like me to believe. Which is why she's had only 2 baths in her 5 weeks of life. Even though she smells so nice afterward, and I feel like a good parent when my child isn't rolling around in her own grime. "Grime?" you say? Yes, grime, because after her first bath she managed to pee and poop all over herself within 48 hours. And the problem with those explosions of excrement is that they get all over her clothes. And the problem with it being all over her clothes is that most of her clothes can only be taken off over her head. You see where I'm going with this? If not, I'll help you out: Poop gets in her hair. Or at least that's my fear.
But I still only bathe her once every 2.5 weeks because I'd rather have her festering in the remnants of her latest explosion than screaming her head off as I try desperately to hold on to her slippery little body in the water that, I worry, is either too cold and she'll get sick or too hot and she'll get burned. The good news in all of this is that a) she's so darn cute in those little hoodie bath towels and b) her hair gets all poofy and soft when it's clean which really accentuates her cute little receding hairline and her daddy says she's a dead ringer for Art Garfunkel. See? (The top one's Lila)
There is another upside to the torture that is bath time: a very tired baby girl. Tonight Lila screamed during the bath, recovered as we dried her off and dressed her, humored us as we took pictures mocking her awesome hairstyle, and then promptly passed out in a deep sleep, exhausted from all of the trauma. Hmmm, new sleep time strategy? Bath time every night! It might, at least, make for a better situation than occurred in our house somewhere around week 3 when at 4AM I told my screaming daughter that she was being selfish. I believe the conversation went something like this:
Lila: WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH!
Me: Shhhhh, shhhhhh, shhhhhhhhhhhh
Lila: a-WAH! a-WAH! a-WAH!
Me: Please, Baby Girl go to sleep. Please, please, please!
Me: You are being so selfish! All I do is feed you and hold you and you won't let me have just one hour of sleep! I'm so tired!
You know you've hit a wall when you are telling your 3-week-old that she is being selfish. But, I think I can say that we're improving as parents. What have we learned? That 3AM + no sleep + a ravenously hungry infant going through a growth spurt + a husband who has to go back to work and therefore needs to sleep and therefore can't help = a completely irrational mommy at the end of her rope. How do we avoid this in the future? Convince Little Sister/Auntie Jess that it would be fun to have a sleepover with her niece! After one night, Jessica told me she has a lot of sympathy for me and that she doesn't want kids for a long time! We made it through though and are now feeling like maybe, just maybe we are competent enough parents that this kid might make it to her first birthday. I mean, it's a piece of cake after this, right Mom and Dad? 5 weeks down, 47 to go!