Friday, July 15, 2011

a new story: part five

To read the previous posts in our new story, click here.

With a newly narrowed down path to adoption, we earnestly pursued our friends who had adopted domestically.  In February, we got dinner with our friends Holly and Seth who had adopted their cutie pie son right around Lila's birthday.  They candidly shared their story which was enormously helpful.  We asked a ton of questions and we began to try to imagine ourselves following in their footsteps.

In March, we met with a local agency to sort of test the waters and see if we were ready to take a next step.  The woman at the agency was very nice, the agency seemed professional, and two of our friends had used them for their adoptions with glowing reviews.  We had been hoping to walk out of that meeting with a big "YES!" in our spirits and that just didn't happen.  We definitely didn't feel a "no," and there was nothing about our meeting or the agency that made us uncomfortable.  It simply just felt - average.  Informative, but nothing more.  We had been praying that we would have a gut feeling either way about whether this agency was a good fit for our family.  Did a lack of "yes" mean "no?"  We were a bit confused.

After some processing of that emotional response, we decided to hit the metaphorical pause button.  We decided to pray into that feeling (or lack thereof) and see if there was something to it or if it was simply one of those things that would be a practical decision rather than an emotional decision.  We wanted to ask the Lord if there was a reason behind that lack of a "YES!" feeling - like should we try another agency?  Should we wait on the adoption thing all together?  Or was this simply just a lesson in balancing our head and our heart?

As we processed these questions, one of the other things that came up was a statistic we heard during the meeting:  

For every one child available for adoption domestically, there are 40 waiting families.  And for every one family looking to adopt internationally, there are hundreds of children needing families.  

That statistic kind of threw me.  I didn't like the thought of taking a child from another deserving family who potentially couldn't have children of their own, and I hated the thought of hundreds of kids who may never be adopted.  We decided to pray over the domestic/international decision a bit more.  

It kind of felt like a step backwards.  We had been pretty confident that we would go the domestic route, but now even that decision felt shaky at best.  As we processed all of this, the biggest question we came back to was, "Lord, why do you want us to adopt?"  The answer to that question was really the answer to the question of domestic vs. international.  Is it because there is a mom and a baby living locally who are perfect matches for our family?  Or are you simply asking us to respond to your generic call on your people to care for the orphans?   

Once again, we were waiting for the Lord to speak.

Check in tomorrow for part six!

1 comment:

Katy said...

thanks Kelsey for your insight in your family life!