Sunday, July 17, 2011

a new story: part seven

Read parts 1-6 here.
Our plan of attack at that point was to keep asking questions and taking time to hear other families' stories in the hopes that one of their stories would stir something in us to help us answer the questions we still had:

What country?  When? Are we sure we want to close the door on domestic adoption?

I should mention that I was, of course, obsessively reading adoption blogs - some were people we know, some were friends of friends and others were complete strangers.  I would find myself weeping as I watched videos of adoptive parents meeting their child for the first time.  International adoption swelled bigger and bigger in my heart and slowly nudged the door to domestic adoption shut.

A few things kept running through my head.  One was that statistic reminding me of the hundreds of kids across the globe waiting for homes.  Another was something Kim had told me when she shared her adoption story.  When I had asked her how she and Todd came to decide on China for their adoption she said, "I just knew.  My daughter was in China."  As I processed in my prayers and with my friends and family, I would say, "I'm just waiting for that "my daughter's in China" moment!"

Through my research, I had casually narrowed our options down to Ethiopia and Colombia.  Both countries were among the more affordable and we qualified for both as far as our family statistics (our age, Lila's age, length of time married, etc).  The draw to Ethiopia was, of course, because of our time spent there and the kids we sponsored.  The draw to Colombia was rooted in my experience studying abroad in Guatemala - I had ever since wanted to adopt a little brown hispanic baby!  But I really didn't feel a hard tug from either of those countries.
To be honest, I was beginning to feel a bit panicked about a lack of response from God despite my desperate prayers of, "Lord, we'll be obedient no matter how you direct us!  Just tell us where our next child is!"  I felt frustrated and discouraged by a lack of a next step, and although I had a sense that there was purpose in the waiting, I was desperate for some movement!

Check in tomorrow for part eight!

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