I missed you today. I had a meeting this morning and you were asleep for your nap by the time I got home. We had to be at church early tonight at 5:30 for another meeting so we only had about an hour to play after your nap before we had to leave for church. Then I was invited to go to a movie with our friend Jordanne so Daddy took you home from church and put you to bed without me.
There was a little girl in the movie who looked like you. When she was sad in the movie, I cried because I thought about you being sad. When I came home, I told Daddy that I missed you and I wanted to hold you. Then I did.
I snuck in your room and picked you up. You wrapped your little arms around my neck and one hand played softly with my hair. I held you tight and listened to your steady breaths. I prayed for you and I cried softly, wiping the tears off my face before they dropped onto your bare arm. I held you for a long time. I didn't want to put you back in bed. Every time I adjusted you in my arms, your grip around my neck tightened slightly for a second before you relaxed back into my arms.
When I finally put you back in bed and snuck back out of your room, you cried. Which made me want to go back in there and hold you some more. I told myself to count to 30 and you were back asleep before I got past 20.
Sometimes it terrifies me how much I love you.