Monday, August 15, 2011

Dear Lila,

I missed you today.  I had a meeting this morning and you were asleep for your nap by the time I got home.  We had to be at church early tonight at 5:30 for another meeting so we only had about an hour to play after your nap before we had to leave for church.  Then I was invited to go to a movie with our friend Jordanne so Daddy took you home from church and put you to bed without me.  

There was a little girl in the movie who looked like you.  When she was sad in the movie, I cried because I thought about you being sad.  When I came home, I told Daddy that I missed you and I wanted to hold you.  Then I did.

I snuck in your room and picked you up.  You wrapped your little arms around my neck and one hand played softly with my hair.  I held you tight and listened to your steady breaths.  I prayed for you and I cried softly, wiping the tears off my face before they dropped onto your bare arm.  I held you for a long time.  I didn't want to put you back in bed.  Every time I adjusted you in my arms, your grip around my neck tightened slightly for a second before you relaxed back into my arms.

When I finally put you back in bed and snuck back out of your room, you cried.  Which made me want to go back in there and hold you some more.  I told myself to count to 30 and you were back asleep before I got past 20.

Sometimes it terrifies me how much I love you.



Katy said...

precious, precious! I love her sweet picture too!

LA said...

love this! And that beautiful little lila. And it terrifies me how much I love Em too. She slept in her crib last night instead of the bassinet. And I missed her. I went out with friends friday night...and I missed her- sped all the way home to see her. Never knew I could love so much.

Caley and Patrick said...

I can totally relate. Blake has been asleep for 3 hours and I was with him all day and still I miss him like I haven't seen him in days... It scares me too.