Tonight I broke one of the cardinal rules of parenting: never disturb a sleeping child.
Here's the slope on which I slipped. Fridays I get the privilege of caring for my friend's sweet daughter, Ruby. She is a joy and Lila loves her, but that doesn't mean it's easy for her to see her mommy cuddling another baby all day. It made her a little needy.
|Lila checking out Baby Ruby|
Plus we didn't go outside at all today because Kansas is being stupid and our week that started out at 80 degrees is closing out with snow. And we all know how much Lila needs to be outside. On top of that, poor Baby Girl got some shots yesterday so she wasn't feeling great today. By the time the Husband got home we already had a grumpy baby on our hands. And then I had a wedding shower to attend tonight so that left the Husband on daddy-duty. At which he excels. However, Lila didn't make it easy on him. So when I asked my usual question for nights that I don't get to put Lila to bed, "How was the baby?" his answer was, "GRUMPY." Which made me sad for them because she spends all day asking for her daddy and then is a big ole grumpalump for him when they get some daddy-daughter hangout time.
So tonight, I was feeling sad that she wasn't feeling good and had a long day and was grumpy for her daddy and I didn't get to kiss her goodnight and, and, and... I'm saying all this to Eric. We often talk about how we miss her after she's been in bed for a few hours. So tonight I said, "I miss her. I'm going to go look at her." Dangerous, Kelsey. You know what else started with just looking? Jessica's cookie. But I looked anyway. Which turned into brushing the hair out of her face. Which turned into putting my hand on her tummy. Which turned into picking her up to snuggle her.
But let's back up a second. Before it escalated to picking her up, I was just standing there looking at her and I was thinking about how earlier today I had my first moment of actual tears at the realization of how big Baby Girl is getting. While I was changing Ruby's diaper, Lila wanted to get in Baby Ruby's bassinet (actually, it's the bassinet we used for LJ when she was a tiny peanut), so I put her in it. And her feet dangled off the end. I looked down at her and saw her big toddler body that didn't fit in the baby bassinet anymore and I just started crying. She looked at me rather concerned so I explained, "Lila, you are so big and that makes Mommy sad!"
So fast forward back to tonight when I was standing above her crib looking at my baby who was now a toddler and I suddenly realized that it won't be long before she is too big for her crib, too big for me to hold and snuggle. To which I told myself, "Don't let an opportunity to hold her slip by you! She's here now and still small enough to pick up out of a crib to hold tight, so do it!" And I did. And I don't regret it at all. So there. 'Nother?