When I say I was terrified, I mean that kind of holy fear you feel when you know you might be getting into something deeper and wider than your own little self can handle on her own. I felt a similar fear when I was pregnant with Lila. I worried I wouldn't know what to do, that I wouldn't be a good enough mom, that I wouldn't be able to figure her out. I have the same fears about Faith, but I know it's the good kind of fear. The kind of fear you feel because of how important the task is.
With that fear bubbling up in our hearts and guts, we waiting anxiously for news from our agency about a decision from Faith's birth mom. After a whirlwind week, we were hoping to have some answers so that we could make some decisions regarding our China home study.
I'll be honest I couldn't help but send multiple emails asking our agency if there was any news or at least when we could expect news. I refreshed my email late into the night - well past the hour I would expect the adoption consultant to be working. When I awoke the next morning I sent another email. I'm sure she was so appreciative of me hassling her.
In my memory, we didn't hear from her until much later in the day because it felt like we waiting eons, but I just went back and checked the time stamp on the email and she actually emailed me back a little before 8:00am the next day. I absorbed every word. Especially these words: