Monday, April 1, 2013

How it's going

Miracle of miracles: both my girls are asleep!

Both my girlS!  I have two daughters!  I just still can't get over it!  Imagine not being able to take a pregnancy test (and not having any outward signs of a pregnancy) until 3 days before your due date and then driving 7 hours to the hospital and coming home with a 6 month old.  That's the best way I can describe what just happened in our life.  It's insane in the membrane.  (Remember when people used to say that?)  Also I might be a little bit loopy.

So, the question I keep getting..."How's it going?"

Here's how:

She's a dream baby.  No really.  Usually the extent of her grumpiness is a scrunched up face and a little squawk of protest and then she just looks at you expectantly like, "I'm sorry to inconvenience you, but would you please change my diaper?" or "I think I might be getting a little sleepy.  Would you bounce me just a bit and I'll just close my eyes and be asleep in two blinks."

To be honest, I'm kind of waiting for the excrement to hit the air circulating device.  If you know what I mean.

We are slowly learning her.  We have discovered she likes being swaddled and that she is particular to a certain bottle nipple.  She likes a bink but isn't all that adept at keeping it in her mouth which appears to frustrate her greatly.  She scowls at it after it has popped from her mouth and waves her hands frantically toward it.

Faith pretty much sleeps, then eats, then coos at us and stares wide-eyed at our ceiling fan, then gives her little "I'm-sorry-to-bother-you" squawk and then goes to sleep again.  We cycle through those steps 3-4 times a day and then she sleeps mostly through the night.  She's a little fitful some nights (3 out of our 5 nights so far she's ended up in bed with us because I got tired of walking the 15 inches to her pack-n-play.  Yep.  I'm lazy in the middle of the night.)

She sleeps an awful lot and I'm just not sure if she's a baby who needs a lot of sleep or if it's her way of coping with the stress of being whisked away to a new home with new parents, new smells, new language and a very enthusiastic 3-year-old sister whose idea of showing love is squishing cheeks and "handing" (throwing) her toys.  Only time will tell.  But even if it is her coping method, I'm just grateful she chose such a peaceful approach rather than - oh I don't know - screaming her brains out all day long.  Thank you, Sweet Baby.  You're very nice to your Mommy.

Gratuitous cute baby picture:
Leg rolls? Yes, please!

Lila has done 80% awesome.  She loves to hold Faith and help feed her.  She strokes her cheeks and says, "Hi, Beautiful Girl!"  She brings her toys and is distressed when Faith is upset.  We've had a few "moments" when she's dissolved into tears, but because Faith has been so easy, I have been able - for the most part - to be attentive to my big girl's needs.  If Faith was crying non-stop, I'm sure I would be having a much harder time staying calm and patient for Lila.  I have tried to be intentional with my time with Lila - going on a walk just the two of us - and verbally praising and encouraging her.  I try to give her words for the big emotions she's feeling, "It's hard to share Mommy.  You've had me just to yourself for a long time and now you have to wait sometimes while I help Faith and that's frustrating isn't it?"  And I have several play dates set up for her so she can get out of the house.
On our walk.
On a bike ride with Pop.  Tights, sparkly shoes, a jean jacket and Pop's hat.  Who needs pants?

I think it's starting to sink in that this baby is here for good.  The other day she asked, "Soooo, where is she going after this?"  As though we were taking our turn with her and then someone else would get to play family with her.  I had been expecting a question like that because no amount of talking about the baby that we may or may not be able to adopt would really solidify the finality of having a sister in a pre-schooler's mind until it actually happened.  She seemed to take the news that Faith was not moving on to another house pretty well.  She moved on rather quickly so I'm taking that as a good sign!
Faith's face is priceless - total ambivalence.  I think she's thinking, "I guess this is happening."

The Husband and Me
We are doing great.  Our crazy week last week also happened to coincide with an equally crazy week for the Husband's job so he wasn't able to take off as much time as we were hoping.  He went back to work today which was hard on all of us, but we are grateful that we had a whole week together last week and four days just the four of us.  I think having him home made it much easier on Lila.  She loves it when we are all home together.

Because Faith is sleeping so well, I think we have both been surprised by how well we are functioning.  I'm not gonna lie, it's really nice to be able to add a baby to the family and not have to go through the really exhausting weeks of no sleep.  It takes a LONG time to catch up from that - I remember that vividly from Lila's infancy.  Faith is sleeping in our room for awhile so that does limit our ability to have any kind of adult conversation or even to watch a movie together so I kind of miss him.  But we know it's for a season and, like I said, we're so glad she's sleeping well and we are taking advantage of getting good sleep while we can, knowing that Faith may decide that she'd rather not sleep through the night at any point.

In other news, our credit card number was stolen so we've had that helpful little issue to deal with.  And Franny (Wha? We have a dog?!) is depressed because she's realized she just got bumped another notch down on the totem pole of importance around here.  Aaaannnd my house looks like a tornado hit it.  Or that we've been robbed.  Or that our dressers and closets and Lila's toy boxes vomited all over.  It's a mess.  And Faith's birth mom is coming to visit on Friday so I have to get everything cleaned up by then! Eek!

Also, I have about 6 posts started that keep getting interrupted, so I'm hoping to be able to fill you all in on the details of last week and to talk a little bit about our "attachment" plan for our first few weeks as a family.  Here's a great explanation of what attachment is and why it's important in adoption:

Attachment, which is a big buzz word in the adoption community, is the connection that the child has with the parent- in which the child completely trusts the parents and allows the parents to meet the needs of the child. This is typically a natural process for biological children, but adopted children (even a child adopted at day 1 in the hospital) have already experienced some major losses that can interfere with the attachment process.

That quote is from the blog "Saying Yes to Adoption" and Rebekah wrote a great post about attachment that I encourage you to read it if you are curious to understand a bit more.  I will write a bit about our plan soon.  

Gotta go!  My girls (TWO!) are up!

P.S. Faith's adoption will be finalized at the end of the month (!) and we think we still need about $2000 to cover all of our expenses.  Check out our Etsy store, our t-shirts, our puzzle pieces and spread the word!  We believe God will tie everything together and we are so grateful for your help.  Thank you!


LA said...

I have 300$$ for you! Just need to get it to you. So glad Faith is sleeping and everyone is doing so well.

Colleen said...

I'm so happy things are going so well! Faith is absolutely beautiful!