Oh, Faith-baby. You have had your mom and dad quite worried lately. Your fever progressed to a full-blown cold which has made it very hard for you to breathe, which in turn has made you eat even less than your usual not-enough. When you went two days eating only ten ounces each day and then refused to eat anything the next morning, Daddy high-tailed it to the doctor (I had my last day of school, so Daddy was on duty). I called and texted him all morning trying to get an update. Each time I talked to him on the phone, I could hear your sick little self hollering in the background. I was so worried for you that I cried every time a parent of one of my students asked me about you. And then, your Daddy - bless him - sent me a poorly-worded text as an update:
"Very traumatic. Ate 1 oz, passed out."
My heart leapt into my throat and I started to visualize that fastest routes to the hospital. I imagined what it might mean for a little baby to pass out - especially one who hadn't eaten much in two days. I imagined what might be wrong beyond just a common cold. I imagined having to call Birth Mom to tell her that her little baby was sick. I imagined the worst - all in a matter of the 30 seconds it took me to dial your Daddy and ask, "WHAT'S GOING ON!??"
And then, my mind spun when his calm voice on the other line said, "She's fine. She's just sleeping."
Text message translation:
"She got herself so worked up that she fell asleep after eating an ounce."
FELL ASLEEP not PASSED OUT. HUSBAND! Sheesh, Dude you scared the living snot out of me!
He was very apologetic and I have punished him by telling everyone I know about his choice of words (with his permission) so that I can gather some sympathy to my plight. I intend to get some mileage out of that story!
When it was all said and done, you had been thoroughly traumatized by all the poking and prodding on top of being under-fed and exhausted (it's hard to sleep when you can't breathe, too). The doctor had rinsed your ears out, suctioned your nose, and had you hooked up to a nebulizer to help you breathe. They sent us home with a nebulizer so we can give you breathing treatments when you get too stuffed up.
We were relieved to know that you were clear of any secondary infections and that you would recover in a few days. But I'm also a little overwhelmed by the thought of you catching more than just a cold in the future since a simple cold sent us into a tailspin.
But oddly, I am also feeling very grateful. Grateful - because I have never felt more like your mommy than when I am holding your sniffling, feverish little body close and comforting you. I am grateful that I get to be the one to sing to you and worry about you and whisper "It's okay's" into your tiny ears when you aren't feeling good. Only mommies get to carry the weight and worry of sick little ones. So, if anything, my worry and stress just confirms once again: I am your mommy. And I love you.
Get better, little girl.