Wednesday, July 31, 2013

just some thoughts

1. I get mad at Target when they put the school supplies out at the beginning of July because they make me think about the school year and GIMMEABREAK I still have almost two months left of my summer!  (Okay, I know it's almost August, but I've been stewing about this for three weeks now.)  I will never understand the retail industry's need to rush us through the seasons.  I was in Michael's today and they had Halloween crap out already.  It's STILL JULY, PEOPLE.  (Counting on my fingers) July, August, September, October.  That's FOUR MONTHS.  There is NO NEED to have the HALLOWEEN STUFF OUT ALREADY!  CAPITAL LETTERS! EXCLAMATION POINT!

2. I took Faith to the doctor last week because I was worried she couldn't hear as well as she should.  I was right.  She failed the hearing test in both ears and we were referred to Children's Mercy.  I can't explain it, but I was caught off guard by how upset I was.  I mean, I took her in because I thought she couldn't hear.  I don't know why I was so surprised when they told me she can't.*  I think part of me was hoping they'd find a bunch of wax in there and clean her out and she'd be good as new.  And now I have two weeks to fret and stew and panic and allow my mind to wander to the worst case scenario - and I'm not even sure what the worst case scenario might be!  I think part of the reason I am upset is that I know that she will likely have a hard time communicating anyway.  To think about adding another element that will hinder her language acquisition and communication skills is really sad.  I'm trying to just keep my mind in neutral territory until we know more.  It's not really working, but that's what I'm trying!
*She can hear.  She responds to some sounds, just not as sensitively as I think she should be responding.  And she's pretty behind verbally which can go hand-in-hand with hearing problems.  I clarify this because I've expressed my worries to people and they'll say "See? She can hear!" when they see her respond to a certain sound.  Yes, she can hear, but not as well as she should.
Sisters.  This is a daily scene.  Lila wants to hold Faith which turns into Faith attempting to eat Lila's face.  As you can see, Lila hates it.
3. Lila. Oh, Lila, Lila, Lila.  We've had a rough week, that girl and I.  It's mostly my fault.  I started doing some scientific experiments with her naps.  Oh yes.  The naps are back.  We tried the quiet time thing for a bit, but that didn't last long.  She wasn't ready to call it quits on the napping yet.  Or maybe I wasn't ready.  Might be one in the same.  But the problem is that when she gets a nap, she's up until 10pm which was really fun at the beginning of the summer when we were enjoying the cooler weather and the sun setting later.  But that is no longer working for this mama who needs some introvert time at the end of the day.  So I decided to pull the nap and put her to bed early which has directly resulted in my child losing her ever-lovin' mind around 6:30pm each night.  The Husband and I were often exchanging covert looks that alternated between bewildered, amused and a little scared as we watched our child fall apart over the smallest things (the wrong cup, a mis-placed toy, a minor injury, etc).  So then I panicked and started making her nap again.  I'm sure this wishy-washy parenting isn't doing her any favors, but for the life of me I can't figure out what the best option is.  Nap or no nap?  She just needs both.  Transitions are the worst.  The one bet that seems completely unaffected by all these experiments is the likelihood that she will end up in bed with us in the middle of the night.  That one seems to have 100:1 odds.  Nap or no nap - we'll still end up with an extra pair of elbows in our bed.  And bonus! Sometimes I awaken to Lila saying accusingly, "Mommy!  Your bed's all wet!"  Despite the fact that the culprit is always her leaky Pull-Up, she seems to think I bear some responsibility to her waking up wet.  Oh well, it forces us to change the sheets with regularity.
I stumbled upon this little scene when I went to put the sheets back on after laundering them.  I texted it to my family with the caption "Lila was here."

4. In the midst of this latest sleep saga, I've been trying to remain focused on the positive things Lila is doing - for both of our sakes.  I find myself being especially congratulatory over the smallest accomplishments and reminding myself that her good behavior is achieved with great effort since she is overcoming the two handicaps of sleep deprivation and well, being three-and-a-half.  So, when she does things like make my bed for me I ooh and ahh and gush over what a great job she did and what a big help she is and how glad I am to be her Mommy.  The intended result is that she doesn't only hear me griping at her and I remember that she's awesome.  It's working.
So proud of herself.  Don't tell her she left a good chunk of the bed naked.  We'll give her an A for effort.
5. Also working: emergency runs to Chick-fil-a with good friends.  The kids played, we bribed them with ice cream, I cried about all the aforementioned stress (Lila's sleep battles, Faith's hearing problems, etc), my friends listened and offered their support, and Faith tried to eat the placemat when I didn't give her blueberries fast enough.
Forgive the blurry picture.  This is the only one in which all four kids are looking at the camera.  Oh wait.  Only two are.  Well, it's still the best one out of the several I took! 
6. Faith continues to be the most passive baby ever.  She just goes with the flow.  Case in point:
"Oh, don't mind me.  I'll just fall asleep right here."
7. I need a haircut.

That's all, folks.

1 comment:

Totschies said...

I love that Lila helped make the bed, what a sweet heart she has. Praying for Faith's communication. So glad to be friends