Wednesday, July 3, 2013

randomness. that's how I roll

Aww, thanks Husband.  I can't believe we've been together for a decade.  What a gift.  I was enjoying reminiscing about that night when you took me up to the tower at the park and said something to the effect of, "I like you, what do you think?" And then I spent 30 minutes thinking about it - wondering if you had actually asked me out - because I still don't think you actually did get those words out.  I got the gist anyhow and I'm so glad I said, "okay."

First off, a house update:

We decided to take it off the market officially.  We processed a bit with our realtors and I just felt like we were trying too hard to sell our house.  That may not make sense to you reading this, but I have learned that a lot of times when I find myself striving too hard to make something happen, it means that the thing I'm striving for is not the right thing for me/us.  We take it off the market with the understanding that this is not the right time, but the hope that the right time will come soon.  We still want to sell this house, but what I do not want is to sell in a way that will stretch and stress us in an unhealthy way.  I don't want to look back at this summer and realize that all I did was scurry out of the house for daily showings.  I don't want to realize that we could have played and we didn't.  That said, if you know anyone looking to buy a darling starter home in a great neighborhood that has been loved and cared for well, send them our way.

And now, for a Lila update:
This picture is from July 2nd, 2011.  Look how little!!
Lila has had just a stellar week.  She is the sweetest to Faith and she is learning - slowly, but learning still - how to interact safely with her baby sister.  The other night Lila was in the other room with my dad and she heard Faith fussing.  My dad reported that she stopped what she was doing and said, "Oh! Hang on.  I need to bring Faith a toy."  She has ears for that baby's fussing and she has a magical effect on Faith, too.  Faith was losing it last night when I was changing her diaper before bed.  She was so tired that she could simply not take my dawdling anymore.  Her screams were clearly communicating to me that "THIS IS NO TIME TO BE CHANGING MY DIAPER, WOMAN!  GET ME IN BED, P-R-O-N-T-O!"  Lila got down on the floor (where Faith was laying for her diaper change cruel and unusual punishment) and started stroking Faith's cheek and saying, "It's okay, Sister.  It's okay."  Faith turned her angry face toward Lila, her eyes widened and she stopped screeching almost immediately.  She just lay there placidly staring at her Big Sis.

And the other day I got on Lila for doing something unsafe around Faith (I can't remember what it was) and she got a hurt look on her face and said, "I was just trying to help her."  I got down on her level and said, "You are such a good big sister.  You are the best big sister for Faith.  God chose you to be her sister because he knew you were the perfect sister for her.  Thank you for trying to help."  She cheered right up and said, "Yeah!" in agreement.

My heart can not take the beauty and tenderness of this sister relationship that is developing.  I just want to sit here and cry about it for a minute.

Speaking of crying.  I've been a little emotional the last week (hello PMS!) and this has led to me crying at
1. the video of the professional surfer who started a foundation teaching kids with autism how to surf
2. the kindness of the lady in front of us at Costco who bought us sodas for no particular reason
3. the dream come true that is watching the Sound of Music with my daughter

4. the video of the baby gorilla who was adopted by another gorilla after being rejected by her biological mother
5. disappointment in not being able to sell our house
6. pretty much any touching/emotional/frustrating/sad/happy/exciting thing I encounter

And speaking of PMS, somehow I accidentally bought a bag of those dark chocolate covered pretzels they were sampling at Costco.  I should know better than to hang around the sample tables when I'm hormonal.  Buying them isn't really the problem so much as the reality that they are now here.  In my house.  Beckoning me with their salty-sweet goodness.  Cannot resist.  Also, raspberries.  Oh how I love thee.  I could eat raspberries until I puke and then I'd still want some more.  Maybe I stole some of Lila's raspberries from her dinner when she wasn't looking.  Maybe.

Keeping with the randomness of this post, I have been making good on number 9 of my Hopes for the New Year and have gotten into a rhythm of exercising again.  I was starting to feel out of control and stressed and negative about myself so I said, "Self?  What can you take back control of that would be healthy and positive in your life?" And an annoying little voice said, "Exercise." And I said, "I don't wanna."  But then, check me out! I did it anyway!  Never mind the fact that every night I mumble "Idon'twannaIdon'twannaIdon'twannaIdon'twanna" as I'm changing into my exercise clothes.  It's okay to have a stinky attitude as long as you still do it, right?

Anyway, a lot of the time, the only time I get to exercise is late at night after the kids go to bed, but occasionally I manage to get them both napping at once and I eek out a 30 Day Shred session before one of them wakes up.  The other day, Faith woke up right as I was tying my shoelaces, but I opted to go for it anyway.  So I put her down on a blanket with some toys and she laughed at me doing push-ups and jumping jacks.  I think she thought I was losing my mind with the ungraceful way I must have been flailing about.  At least she was entertained.

Cute blurriness:

Okay, so I think that's enough for now.  Oh, except that we are getting re-fingerprinted tomorrow so that we can update our USCIS paperwork for our Ethiopian adoption.  Last time I checked we were number 50 on the list, but I think we may even be lower than that!  It's strange to be doing paperwork for that adoption again.  I often marvel at the way the Lord has chosen to build our family.  I never would have guessed it would look the way it does and will.  I'm trying to remember that as I pout about not selling our house right now.  God always has a good plan for his kids.  I'm just trying to figure out how to make his plan my plan.

Alrighty.  Signing off.  (This has been a weird post.)


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