Tuesday, August 27, 2013

the Blue Thing

Remember when I told you about how I grind my teeth?  Remember how I told you my dentist recommended I wear a mouth guard so I don't crack all my teeth? (I've already had to get multiple teeth repaired from grinding damage.  Not so fun.)  Remember how I told you I'd tell you a story about Lila imitating me wearing my nighttime mouth guard?  Well, this is the story.

So, when I first started wearing a dental guard at night, I bought the cheapest one I could find. It was HUGE.  And blue.  It looked more like a sports mouth guard.  Lila called it my "blue thing" except she pronounced it "schthling" and would ask me in the morning, "Where's your blue schthling?"  We had many discussion about my "blue thing."  She was curious and captivated by my "blue thing."  This was also the stage when she was still in her crib and not potty-trained and she was waking up really early with a wet diaper.  I would often come in her room and say "It's not time to get up yet," and attempt to change her diaper quickly and quietly and then put her back to sleep.  (This was only marginally successful, but the hope for a few extra minutes of sleep kept me in the game.)

So, one day she was playing quietly by herself and I was in the kitchen.  I heard her shuffle out from the play room and say, sort of muffled, "It's not time to get up yet."  I turned around and saw that she had one of those little plastic chain links that babies play with (Faith LOVES those rings for some reason) in her mouth.  A blue one.  And I realized that she wasn't talking to me, she was play-acting.  She was pretending to be me in the morning when I would stumble into her room wearing my "blue schthling" and tell her it wasn't time to get up yet.  I was immediately humiliated and amused.  I laughed out loud at this little glimpse into my 2-year-old's view of her mama.  Undignified, clumsy, mouth full of "blue thing."  There's no perky mom waiting to greet her when she wakes.  There's just me.  Undignified, clumsy, mouth full of "blue thing."  But the best part is, she wanted to be like me.  Blue thing and all.

And now because I love you and I have no self-respect.  Here's a picture of me with one of those baby rings in my mouth to give you an idea of what I'm describing:
I would show you a picture of the Blue Thing, but I have since bought a much sleeker, smaller, less noticeable version.  Because I can only handle so much mocking from my toddler.

In other news, we're in our inaugural week of back-to-school/therapy and our new schedule.  Last night I kept having to remind myself that it was only Monday.  It might be a bit before we all adjust to the new routine.  We may not survive.  I mean, probably we will.  But maybe not.

Also, Faith turns ONE in a month!!! Eeeeeeek!  I am making some plans for her birthday party.  Her birthday not only marks the end of her first year, but also 6 months with us.  Which means she will have been home with us for the same amount of time she was with her birth family.  I have conflicting emotions about that.  I'm so excited for that magic switch to flip, but I'm also grieving for her birth mom.  In my mind, the longer she's with us the more I feel like her mom.  I wonder if her First Mama feels the same way?  I know it's inevitable and I know it's what we all knew would happen and chose for her life, but it's still a significant and sad moment.  I'm sure I'll be processing that a bit more in the next few weeks as well as planning a sunny little first birthday party!  You all know how much I looooove birthdays!!

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