Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Today: by the minute

7:00 Alarm goes off *SNOOZE*
7:09 Alarm goes off again *SNOOZE*
7:18 Alarm goes off again.  Hear Lila narrating something to Faith over the monitor.  Sometimes they wake each other up and the result is yelling and crying, this morning it's happy chatter.  A good start, but don't be fooled.  Oh yeah, *SNOOZE*
7:27 Alarm goes off again.  Okay, okay I'll get up.  It's picture day after all and I have to be to school by 8:30 sharp.
7:45 Out of the shower.  Yelling to the Husband, "Are the girls dressed?" Applying make-up to try to hide the "I was puking my brains out 48 hours ago from a nasty stomach bug and still feel a little woozy" look.
8:05 Begin battle with Lila over which shoes she will wear in her pictures.  Me: you get to pick which shoes you wear every other day.  I get to pick today.  End of story.  Her: No.
8:15 Battle continues.  I consider a compromise, but stick to my guns as I throw lunches in the car and grab my lesson supplies
8:17 Compromise out of desperation.  Me: wear your cute pink cowgirl boots in the picture and you can bring your other shoes to change into.  Her: No.
8:18 Losing my patience and any sense of on-time-ness.  Me: Lila, NOW.  Her: No.
8:19 Loading up the car.  By some miracle, Lila has chosen to comply with my wishes.  I smooch her cheeks and thank her for obeying Mommy even when she didn't want to and silently forgive all the "no's" from earlier.
8:22 Pull out of the garage
8:24 Realize I forgot a vital part of my science experiment materials
8:32 Drop Lila off at my friend's house for her carpool to preschool
8:41 Arrive 11 minutes late for staff picture, relieved to see another staff member walking up, too.  Guilty Irresponsibility loves company, too right, Misery?
8:45 Drop Faith off unceremoniously in child care
8:46 Faith flips out
8:50 Parents arrive, cute kids all picture-ready walk in and hand me their picture packets.  Faith screams from down the hall and I go rescue her.
9:00 I hold Faith as I welcome kids, gather picture packets and help forgetful parents fill out said packets.
9:05 Faith throws up on me.  Inexplicably, it's on my face.  Puke on my face.  Puke on my face. Puke on MY FACE!
9:10 Desperate phone call to Husband.  Me: Faith threw up.  Can you come get her? Him: (in so many words) I haven't been to work since Friday because you've been sick and my boss will growl at me if I try to leave now. Me: I'll try my mom.
9:12 Desperate phone call to my mom.  She's at work.
9:15 It's our turn for pictures.  Drop Faith off again with saintly childcare workers who accept her puke and all while I run down the hall to help my students with their photos.
9:30 Done with pictures.  Pick up Faith again because she's yelling again and I don't know if she's sick or just mad.
9:45 time for PE.  Drop kids off at PE and decide Faith is not sick and text the Husband to stand by.  She started the flu stuff over the weekend, so I think her tummy is still not quite normal and she got all worked up crying so hard.
9:45-11:30 Snack, quick social studies lesson, bathroom break, etc.
11:30 Recess.  One kid has a splinter.  One kid gets stung by a bee.  One kid keeps falling over for no apparent reason.  One kid's nice picture day clothes are covered in mud.  At least no one throws up on me.
12:00 Lunch.  Kid who got stung by a bee loses her tooth at lunch.  And then she literally loses her tooth.  As in, we can't find it.  She thought she wrapped it up in a napkin, but when she unfolded the napkin to show her many admirers (said one 7 year old, "She's so LUCKY!"), each fold failed to reveal the tooth.  Oh, man.
12:05 Tooth located.  By the coat hooks.  Gross.  Suggested addition line to First Grade Teacher Job Description: Be prepared to deal with loose and lost teeth, teeth dangling by one slimy, fleshy thread as child pushes it in and out with tongue, bloody mouths from lost teeth, and retrieval and recovery operations should lost tooth become, er, lost.
12:30 Jimmy Johns is delivered.  Thank you God, for Jimmy Johns.  And I really, really, really mean that.
1:00 Drop kids off at afternoon special and drive home on my break to get missing piece of the science experiment.
1:45 water cycle experiment a success.  Children's reactions: worth it.  They think I'm a genius.  Bloody teeth by the coat hooks are a small price to pay for the awe and respect from 6 and 7 year olds.
2:00 Kids redeem the day by accurately and adorably illustrating what they learned from the experiment.  Teacher warm fuzzies commence.  Mmmmmm.
2:30-3:00 More antics as the day wraps up.  One kid's key chain keeps moo-ing.  One kid can't find her water bottle which turns up in her backpack which is on her back.  One kid wanders aimlessly despite repeated directions for clean-up.  One kid tries to help and spills a supply bin's contents across the floor.  Many kids are frantically wiggling their own loose teeth, inspired by the earlier events of the day.  Me: You guys! Stop wiggling your teeth!
3:00 Dismissal.  Goodbye you gross and adorable children.  You are my favorite part of my job, despite your bodily fluids and lack of self control.  Because you are also awesome and creative and loving and sweet to each other and helpful and I love you.
4:00 After a quick conversation with a parent, we clean up and load up and make it home to catch the last few innings of the Royals game.
6:00 Both the Husband and I are inexplicably crying as we watch our home team break the 29 year drought and make it to the World Series.  I've never cared so much about baseball!
7:00 The Husband and I are having dinner and I am recounting my day from boot battle to puke to tooth to Pennant victory.  We lose it giggling when I tell him about the lost (in more ways than one) tooth.
7:30 The girls are asleep and I am ready for bed, too.  A good day if you consider the bookends and erase some of the middle.  I woke up to my girls "chatting" happily together in their shared room and will fall asleep next to my awesome guy who took his own sick days to take care of me the last three days, who asks me about my day and who cries (mostly) unashamedly when his team, the underdogs if ever there were some, makes it into the World Series.  A good day indeed.

Goodnight.

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