Friday, April 24, 2015

I'm still here.

Oh hi there.  Remember me?  My name is Kelsey and I used to write on this blog.  Then life got crazy and lots of things took a back seat to surviving.  I'm not promising I'll be back, but I thought at least I'd stop in with a bit of an update.

We found out that Baby #3 is a GIRL!  We were so shocked - we all were convinced it was a boy!  But we've all adjusted and now we are super excited to be joining the Three Girls Club in a few months.  We're talking names, but can't seem to make up our minds.  We may just have to meet this little peanut and see what name fits her best.

Here's her alien-looking ultrasound picture:

Speaking of Baby Girl #3.  After 23 weeks of puking (and still - at 28 weeks - the occasional dash to the bathroom or nearest sink/trashcan/plastic bag) she gave us some excitement earlier this week.  I had some vomiting, cramping and weird pain in my stomach for a few days. When the pain became more constant, my doctor decided I should be monitored at the hospital for signs of pre-term labor.  I foolishly assumed that I'd be there an hour and they'd politely tell me to chill out and send me home.  Thankfully, the baby's heart rate looked great and I wasn't having any contractions, but since I was still having pain, there were still a few possible causes they wanted to rule out before sending me home.

The scariest possibility was a placental abruption which is when the placenta prematurely detaches from the uterus.  This is apparently a bad thing and can be fatal for mom and baby.  They also were concerned about something going on with my gall bladder or appendix so my doctor decided to have me stay overnight so they could continue to monitor me and do some tests to rule out those more dangerous scenarios.

Since I didn't think I'd be staying overnight, I didn't do a good job of preparing Lila for my absence and she was really sad that I wasn't coming home that night.  We FaceTimed from the hospital which seemed to help a little.  I tried to take a screen shot of our chat, but she was too wiggly.  These were the best I could get:

I had an ultrasound of my organs Tuesday evening and if I hadn't been blinking away tears of pain I would have wanted to punch that poor ultrasound tech every time she said, "Take a deep breath and hold it."  The pain was worst when I had to breathe deep (or yawn or sneeze or hiccup or cough), so every time she said "take a deep breath" I thought I might die.  The ultrasound didn't reveal anything abnormal so that ruled out the non-pregnancy related problem scenarios.

The next morning I had an ultrasound of the baby and my uterus to check for any signs of abruption or distress in the baby.  The perinatologist took a look and gave me the all clear - confirmed that Baby is "still a girl" and told me everything looks "lovely."

The latest theory is that I have a nasty muscle strain - no doubt from lifting a certain Chinese two-year-old.
Playing dress-up at school
Yeah, that one.

So in the end, it was much ado about a muscle strain.  Which I'll take any day over delivering a baby at 28 weeks or any of the other scarier scenarios that were tossed around.

In other not-as-dramatic news:

Easter happened.  Here's proof:
Faith wasn't so sure about the bunny ears.  "Um, Mom?  There's something on my head."
And I turned 32.  For which I have no pictures because my birthday occurred day two of the baby excitement.

Lila had another ballet recital.  And I'm just realizing I never posted a video of last Fall's cuteness.  I'll have to do that sometime.  For now, here's this round of twinkle-toed twirling.  (It was a patriotic theme which is why she danced to Neil Diamond.)  She's third from the left:

That girl is a performer.  There is no ounce of stage fright in her.
Waiting for the show to start.
I asked her if I could take a picture of her up on the stage afterwards and she struck this pose all on her own.  She's a hambone. 
Her teacher, the amazing Miss Brittany.
Also, way back in February we celebrated Chinese New Year with Faith's birth parents at their restaurant.  It was hilarious and awesome.  Faith got to FaceTime with her biological sister which, I'm not gonna lie, made me cry.  It was pretty awesome.
The food was extravagant: lobster, crab, and lots of things we could not identify.  I asked what was in a sort of soup thing and First Baba (Faith's birth father) thought for a minute, then stammered, "Uh, um, ah!" and then said with confidence: "Fish balls."  Oh.  Fish balls.  Balls of fish? Or...

When I asked what kind of fish was in one of the "fish balls" I was told, "Don't worry about it."  Being pregnant, I was worried about it and didn't think it wise to try the "fish balls" or any of the other unidentifiable or questionably translated offerings. The Husband had no such excuse, which I viewed as payback for Faith's first birthday party when he ignored my mental pleas to help me eat the endless crab legs First Mama kept shoving onto my plate.

Those ^^^ are the fish balls, in case you were wondering.
We've been working on the nursery.  The Husband painted the walls with the help of Big Sister of the Year.
A sweet family from my school gave us their crib so we wouldn't have to buy a new one.  Faith is nowhere near ready to graduate to a big girl bed, which I think I will be very grateful for when Baby comes this summer.  Two kids confined at night means two less children able to migrate into my bed when I'm sleep-deprived.

 Lila got to go play at our friends' farm last weekend.  When I told her they were on their way to pick her up, she pulled this chair in front of the window and sat there watching out the window until they got there.  She was just a little excited and her time with them did not disappoint.  Their rabbit had babies three days prior and she got to hold the tiniest bunny ever.  Plus she got to play with Stella and Sophie and future husband Jude - all of whom she idolizes and adores.

 Lila got to do some big sister practicing when our friends had their baby a month or so ago.  She was so serious and careful to hold up Mary's head.  She'll be a great help when Baby comes.  I am so grateful for these friends whose girls are the same age as my girls.  What a gift to have friends in the same life stage and with kids the same age as ours!

Faith learned to make funny faces at herself in the mirror.  A significant milestone in any child's life.

Faith is officially a walker and Lila is officially a reader.  They are both in such fun and exhausting stages.  Parenting Faith is physically demanding - she seems to get faster at the same rate I get slower - and parenting Lila is emotionally demanding.  Lila is passionate and expressive and she needs lots of verbal processing time when she gets upset.  I feel like I do it well about 70% of the time.  20% I feel like I do it okay and 10% I feel like I royally screw it up (that's also the 10% when I end up yelling at her or losing my temper some other way).  I'm getting really good at apologizing and she's pretty forgiving most of the time.  I just pray that it's the 70-90% she remembers and that the 10% would fade away in her memory.

They are really starting to be able to play together.  Faith ADORES Lila and Lila loves Faith (and I think adores that she is adored!)  She is Faith's helper, encourager, protector, teacher, cheerleader - everything I hoped she would be and knew she could be when we chose to adopt Faith.  I took this video the other day and it just illustrates their relationship perfectly.  They truly enjoy one another.

Despite how stressful these last few months have been, I am one grateful lady.  I have a good life, even when it's hard.  Tonight I was singing to Lila as she fell asleep and found myself crying through one of our old favorites, a Sara Groves song called He's Always Been Faithful.  The lyrics in the 2nd verse in particular had the tears rolling down my cheeks:
I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret 
In serving God only, and trusting His hand.

All I have need of His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

In a season that has held a lot of pain - both physical and emotional - this reminder has been central to my faith.  He's always been faithful to me.  And truly, I can't remember a trial or a pain he didn't redeem or recycle.  So in my current suffering, it helps to look behind me and remember that he's always been faithful, and to look forward to seeing how he will infuse my pain with purpose and redeem my heartache for my good and his glory.


Totschies said...

Loved reading this! Really beautiful and encouraging today, much needed words!

Bethany Tabailloux said...

I'm so glad you're still here! And baby girl is snug and safe :) Let's be done soon. this is so hard.